BEING A MOTHER IS DAMN HARD.
Raising children is a lonely, relentless and near impossible job.
We never know if we are doing it right and worry endlessly and constantly that we are f*cking it up.
The needs of our children and the pressures of society place too many demands on us while offering little to no resources to help.
It was never supposed to be like this.
"When I become a parent, I'm going to do it differently."
Regardless of how we arrived at parenthood, most of us decide that we want to do our very best. We research the best cribs, read the latest books, and strike up endless conversations with other parents to pick their brains in case we are missing something. There is so much good intention involved.
Then, things get hard. Really hard.
-
She won't sleep in her own bed.
-
He refuses to stop biting other children on the playground.
-
She lies to you about doing her homework.
-
He keeps getting sent to the principal's office and you can't even get mad because at home, you can't get him to sit still, finish a task, or concentrate on anything.
You want to take away the devices and create an eccentric and confusing behavior chart.
​
Your partner resorts to yelling and spanking.
Both of you, desperate for change and unable to affect your child's behavior, start to blame each other, adding even more stress to an already strained environment.
Then, somehow, things get even harder.
She has daily, if not hourly, emotional outbursts that ruin any family function you attend.
​
He becomes increasingly withdrawn and avoids spending time with friends
She has been sneaking out.
You're convinced he won't even graduate high school.
​
Oh God...am I f*cking this all up?
As they grew older and more independent, they were supposed to become easier to manage, right?
Instead, somehow, things got so complicated. And now you are running out of time. The fear and anxiety kick in because despite your very best efforts, it's still not working. It's time to double down, as letting go is not an option—they need more rules, more threats, more punishment. The world is not kind, and they must be ready. It's my job to prepare them, and yet... Oh God, I don't really know what to do.
No matter what your relationship with your child looks like now, it's never too late to turn things around.
What would it be like to imagine your relationship with your child 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30....?
-
If I could promise you that your child will be fine, and they will find themselves in a life they love and are happy with, what kind of relationship would you want with them then?
-
Would they call you when their marriage is in trouble, when they lose a job, or when life throws them a curveball and they just don't know what to do?
-
Would they visit often, nurturing the relationship between you and their children, and making space for you in their family?
-
Will they desire a relationship with you because they know, no matter what, you are always for them, not against them?
If this is the goal, then building this relationship starts right now.
I know what you're thinking.
But how? They're difficult, and bull-headed, and overall just assholes?
I get it. I, too, was a parent who was tired of having to choose between rules and my relationship with my teens. All I wanted was to have a connected relationship with them, but it seemed the fights, losing my temper, threats and punishments won out every single day. No matter how many times I promised myself I wouldn't yell or lose it anymore, there I was, red-faced and screaming at my kid, falling into the same trap again. It wasn't until I decided to do something different -- radical, even -- that changed everything for my family.
I am passionate about this work because I know it works.
-
What if you were focusing on the wrong things?
-
What if you could have a child who is confident, resourceful, and cooperative, while also maintaining a supportive, healthy, and connected relationship with them?
-
What if the answer involved fewer rules and more freedom, less screaming and fighting, and more connection and collaboration?
-
What if you were your child's greatest teacher and supporter, rather than their constant enemy?
What teens need more of is not correction, but connection.
If you don't know what that means, don't worry -- you've come to the right place.
Hi, I'm Candace Grahl, a licensed therapist and certified parent coach. I work with burnt-out parents to help them have fulfilling relationships with their children without the use of threats, yelling, or punishment.
Together, we will identify your current struggles and barriers to connection with your child. We will also clarify what your goals are for your relationship. You will begin to unlock and embrace your unique strengths as a parent, which are both beautiful and brilliant, while also finding the tools and resources needed to guide your child, and have more fulfilling relationships with your family.
I cannot guarantee this will be easy. But I do promise you it will be worth it. And I will be with you every step of the way.
You are not alone in this. Let's do this together.
Click here to schedule a free 20-minute consultation and see how we can work to get you from where you are to where you want to be.