I help middle-aged women work through the difficult events in their past, get unstuck, and begin living an authentic life that makes them proud.

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If you're thinking about reaching out to a therapist but you're not sure what's involved or you're nervous about the process, I completely understand. I felt the same way the first time I went to therapy.

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To help some with this, I've put together a few common questions I receive about how I approach therapy with clients. If you read through these, you'll get a better understanding of how the process works and what you can expect.

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Do I need therapy?

This is a common question when an individual begins feeling like something in their life is off. Therapy can be helpful for all kinds of issues such as:
 

• depression    

• anxiety        

• parenting 

• family conflict

• divorce or partner betrayal

• substance abuse or addiction

• grief or loss

• fertility or post-partum struggles

• unemployment or career change

• LGBTQ+ support

• racial identity difficulties

• financial troubles

• spiritual deconstruction or trauma

• food or body image issues

• adjustment to life issues (recent health diagnosis, empty nesters, moving, etc.)

 

Everyone encounters one or more of these issues throughout their lifetime. Some individuals have a harder time moving through them. Therapy gives these individuals an opportunity to understand what the struggle means for them, while giving them the tools to cope with the discomfort and come out on the other side in a better place than when they began. 
 

Why Therapy?

Being a human can be hard. Really hard. 

 

We have a wide range of emotions hard-wired into us from the moment we come into this world. Making sense of our individual internal landscape can be overwhelming and difficult without a knowledgeable tour guide to assist us. A therapist is trained to not only assist you in this getting-to-know-yourself process, but we are also bound by ethics and rules to ensure we help instead of harm.

How does it work?

Every therapist has their own rhythm of how the process begins.

 

Typically, the first session is for history-taking and building the working relationship. Success in therapy is 50% dependent on how well you and your therapist get along together. If you’re not feeling like it's going well, let your therapist know. It’s okay! You will not hurt their feelings. Therapists are humans too, and sometimes we just can’t connect.

 

During the first few sessions, the therapist will ask a lot of questions. Many, many questions. Some of them may seem relevant, some of them may not. It is not to be nosy, but it is the best way for the therapist to get a whole view of not just you, but what brings you in. People make sense in the context of their story, so your story is hugely important to this process. And we want to honor all the parts of it. You are not a problem to be fixed. You are a unique person who had to learn ways to get through your experience so you could survive. It makes sense – YOU make sense.

 

From there, you and your therapist will collaborate and decide what your therapeutic goals are. Do you need better coping skills for a job you hate? Do you want to learn ways to communicate better with your partner? Where is this anger coming from, and what do you want to do about it?

 

You decide where you want the ship to go, and the therapist makes sure to map out the most effective and efficient course to get you there.
 

How often do I need to come?

It depends. Typically, most clients begin attending weekly, unless time or money are a barrier. I suggest the first 6-8 sessions be weekly, as it aids in building our working relationship, and we can create some momentum around the work that needs to be done. I believe in transparency with my clients, so we will have this conversation as much as needed for you to feel comfortable that you are getting what you need while balancing other factors where more frequent sessions are not possible.

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How long is a session?

Sessions typically last 50-55 minutes, with the exception of EMDR sessions. EMDR sessions are scheduled for 105 minutes, which is equivalent to 1 hour and 45 minutes.
 

What is your fee?

My standard session rate is $135. For EMDR sessions, the fee is $270.
 

What if I can’t afford therapy?

Therapy is an investment. It costs you emotional energy, physical energy, and certainly financial energy. For many needing services, the latter can be a huge barrier to reaching out. Whether you are wanting to meet with me or another provider, I urge you to reconsider and reach out anyway. We can discuss what your options are depending on the need.

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One of the biggest frustrations with therapists is that private pay mental health services are not typically covered by insurance. While I cannot guarantee that your provider will reimburse you for our services (it varies by provider), you will receive a superbill that can be submitted to your insurance, where they may reimburse you.
 

How can I work with you?

If you are interested in working with me, you would first reach out and let me know you're interested. Next, we would schedule a complimentary 20-minute virtual call where we would meet, you can see my face, hear my voice, and we could (lightly) discuss what your needs may be. Depending on your goals, we would discuss how I could help and what that process might look like. From the moment you reach out, confidentiality begins, so even if you decide we wouldn't be a good fit, your story will remain confidential.

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What kind of services do you provide?

I am trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (the gold standard in therapy services), as well as Motivational Interviewing, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy. These are tangible, measurable modalities to get clients engaged in their work that builds a strong foundation for their therapeutic journey and beyond. 

 

But…

 

What I love to do and am the most passionate about is EMDR.
 

What is EMDR?

EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a form of experiential therapy that seeks to rewire the brain and reset the nervous system. It is a strategic process that allows a person to revisit difficult experiences from the past, in the here and now, to resolve them, integrate them and move forward in their life. 

 

EMDR is typically used for processing trauma but can also be helpful to alleviate distress in other areas of life.

 

That’s about as simple as I can make it for a FAQ – I could go on and on and on because I love it so much, but I’ll stop at that. If you’re interested in learning more about the entire process, click here. 

 

Wondering if EMDR is right for you, or have questions about it? Don’t hesitate to reach out!
 

What is Trauma?

This is a common question, and the definition varies depending on who you're asking. For simplicity's sake, the definition I use is: trauma is any experience or event our brain can't process in the present that negatively impacts our life and functioning in the future.

 

Instinctively, our brain knows when something is adaptive or helpful for us. It files it away in the part of our memory that allows it to be useful. Similarly, our brain also knows instinctively when something is maladaptive or harmful. Instead of filing this away correctly, it stores it in a different part of our brain called the limbic system. The limbic system is one of the oldest and original parts of our brain, and it's where instinct and survival live. This area of the brain is not meant for this type of memory storage, and the brain knows this. Because of this, the brain will continually revisit this experience or memory in an effort to make it adaptive, make it make sense, so it can then be stored correctly. But we can't make sense of trauma, not from the "thinking" part of our brain, anyway. This is why past trauma feels like it is constantly with us, almost like a shadow, or like one of those computer programs that runs in the background, constantly slowing down the rest of the system. Logical, meaning-making thinking cannot override instinct, therefore it cannot be processed in this way.
 

What if my struggles don’t classify as trauma, will therapy still help me?

Absolutely. There used to be a thinking that there was capital-T trauma (the bigger, scarier events) and lower-t trauma (things that were painful and difficult but easier to maneuver); however that thinking has been downgraded as more research has come out about the lasting effects of all kinds of life experiences.

 

In fact, my experience as a trauma therapist has shown me that sometimes the most benign events in a person’s life can be the source of so much difficulty later in life. A teacher yelling at you in front of the class when you were in elementary school could cause you to believe that you were bad, stupid, or unlovable. A loving parent or family member who was not able to support you through a seemingly small life experience might lead you to believe you don’t matter, are too much, or aren’t worthy of love. On the outside, these events seem small. And when we revisit them as adults in light of all the suffering in the world, they seem really small. But that event caused a belief to be present to you, that your system took in about yourself, and then adapted your thoughts, behaviors, and relationships around it. 

 

If instead of believing you were too much, not enough, or undeserving of love you believed instead that you are fine as you are, enough, and worthy of love and belonging, and believed it on a visceral level. What might your life look like? Your daily thoughts and behaviors? What kind of relationships would you engage in? What kind of new world would open up to you?
 

What if therapy doesn’t work?

It makes sense that for many, this sounds too good to be true. If you have been suffering for a while, or have tried therapy in the past to no avail, this process might seem like I’m overselling it. Maybe I am. 

 

But…I don’t think I am.

 

I believe that at the core of who we are, we are perfect. We came into this world with everything we needed already wired in us – love, connection, brilliance, vitality. But due to geography, socioeconomic status, race or identity, or family of origin struggles, we had to adapt to a world that didn’t understand us, couldn’t understand us, and was unsafe for us. And we had to figure it out in order to survive. And the way that you figured it out was no different: it was instinct. You did not consciously choose to have OCD, an eating disorder, perfectionist tendencies, rigid or difficult relational patterns, or chronic shame for who you are or what you want in life. 

 

These were learned responses to stay safe and connected in a world that was big and scary. The good news is we can unlearn them, and find new ways of being in an unsafe world, but where we feel safe and connected with the most important person in our life: ourselves.

 

Therapy is a journey inward, so we can then move outward. Instead of trying to manufacture a life on the outside that resolves discomfort on the inside, we go to the source of the pain, and tend to the wound. It’s a path back to our self, to our truest self, to discover it and heal the parts that were wounded, so you can then move outward into your life in a new, healthy, adaptive, instinctive way. 

 

No trying. No forcing. No effort to try and keep it all together. Just…living.

 

What might that be like?