BEING A MOTHER IS DAMN HARD.
It is a lonely, relentless, and difficult job.
There is too much to do and too many demands with never enough time, energy or resources.
It was never supposed to be like this.
We were never built to take on the burden that modern-day motherhood has become. It is simply too much.
Once upon a time there was a fair maiden who fell into motherhood.
Then it all went to sh*t.
For women, motherhood has always been sold as the highest goal. The place where we ascend and reach our ultimate destination and fulfill our calling. Once you became a mom, you waited for the heavens to open up and praise you for your contribution and selfless sacrifice. After all, you kept up your end of the deal. Let the exultation begin.
And then the baby cried -- screamed, actually -- all night. Every night. And that was just the beginning.
Cracked nipples. Stretch marks for days. Post-partum depression. Crippling anxiety. No time to shower, eat, or even do anything remotely relaxing. Maybe you added a couple more kids into the mix because Stockholm Syndrome really set in and it’s just easier to lean into the chaos than to fight it.
When you finally did open up to trusted people in your life, your tribe, you hoped for a lifeline or at the very least someone who understood (certainly you can’t be the only one who has felt this). What they gave in return for your vulnerability was, “Sure this is hard.
But be grateful because so many women don’t get to experience this.”
Be grateful that your body was ripped open to then be further scrutinized by society.
Be grateful that you get to sacrifice your very existence to this tiny human but must grieve those lost parts of you in silence. In fact, it’s actually selfish of you to still want those parts to yourself. So please, keep that to yourself.
Be grateful that your future happiness rests on the success of how this completely separate being turns out, because you are solely responsible for whether or not they become a psychopath.
Be grateful that you ascended to this highest goal. And then be quiet. Accept it. This is your highest calling.
But is it? And, did you know it was going to be like this?
Motherhood was never supposed to be this difficult. It was never meant to be done in a vacuum. We are isolated and separated from others more today than ever before in history. Mothering was supposed to be easier not because kids were easier, but because we had a tribe of women around us. We were raising our children in communities with the love and support of others. The burden of caring for our families wasn’t entirely on our shoulders.
Now, it’s all on you. It’s all on us. We are the backbone of society. And yet, society has left us to fend for ourselves.
It’s okay if you feel duped. It’s okay if you don’t want to do this anymore. It’s okay that you’re angry and tired of feeling the constant tension between wanting to do anything for your child, and at the same time, wanting to run far, far away. There is nothing wrong with you for wondering if this was the biggest mistake of your life.
The good news is you can still be the mother that you want to be, without sacrificing the woman you aspire to be.
You can still show up for your children in beautiful, authentic ways AND be the woman you want to be. You can take ownership of your life while also bringing unique talents and gifts to the lives of your children and those around you. You can finally accept that you were not meant to be everything to everyone, and be at peace with that. You don’t have to convince yourself of anything anymore. You can just live. You can find joy in yourself even in the midst of mothering.
Motherhood is an extension of you, not the sum of you. It enriches your life, but it is not your identity. We don’t have to believe that lie anymore.
This is the work I am passionate about. I know how important it is because I have walked this road myself. There is so much more to you than motherhood. Click here to schedule a free consultation, and see how we can work together to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Are you struggling to know who you are and what you even want from your life?
Do you lie awake at night wondering why it seems like everyone has it all together, but you don’t?
Are you trying to reclaim lost parts of yourself while juggling work, carpool, laundry, and everything else under the sun?
Do you want to enjoy being a mother AND being you?